The National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI) launched a new social networking site where young adults, age 18-25, can connect with peers who also have mental disorders. In addition to social networking opportunities, the site also offers resources for important issues such as independent living, employment, and finances. The site looks pretty sweet and it provides a great opportunity for young people to connect and share advice.
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Depression, if left untreated, is the number one cause of suicide. Thousands of American’s die of suicide every year. Phone texting and instant messaging are the most popular forms of communication. Many people are more likely to use these types of communication versus talking on the phone or in-person. “The Kristin Brooks Hope Center, To Write Love On Her Arms and PostSecret have partnered together to launch IMAlive, the first live online crisis network with 100% of its staff certified and trained in crisis intervention.” This technology is still at the testing stage with a projected launch date in 2010.
You can help TWLOHA by becoming a certified volunteer or by donating to the cause.
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Sharing your experiences with mental illness is a great way to make a difference. Your life could inspire others and help feel less alone. Below are several websites where you can share your story.
Written By Shahida Arabi
One should not be discriminated against based upon their sex, race, age or ethnicity. But what about their mental health status? If we speak about it, we face the possibility of being shunned and limited in our opportunities. If we don’t, we may endure silence and self-segregation. By creating an anti-discrimination campaign, we speak out while at the same time creating crucial change.
“Open Up” is a conference that will raise awareness about combating mental health discrimination across England at a grassroots level, bringing together those who challenge discrimination through a diverse group of projects. It will take place at Jury’s Inn, Birmingham June 14th, 2010 and will raise awareness about mental health discrimination, featuring speakers such as Mental Health User Trainer and Consultant Tina Coldham, Conference Chair, contributions from Mind Chief Exec Paul Farmer, as well as Time to Change Director Sue Baker, Time to Change LEAP member Karen Machin, Harmit Kambo from the Sheila McKechnie Foundation, and Bruce Calderwood from the Department of Health.
Written By Peter Amsel
In a time when people living with mental illness face a lack of essential services, often rejecting treatment due to the stigma associated with these pernicious diseases. It is no surprise that nearly 840,000 people in the United States attempt to commit suicide; 32,000 succeed. Due to lack of funding, ‘hotlines’ and crisis support lines are unavailable to people who need them.
One of the problems facing many people living with a serious mental illness such as depression or bipolar disorder is that they find it very difficult to discuss their depression with someone in a face-to-face situation. The anonymity presented by a telephone ‘hotline’ makes it possible for someone who has reached a point of desperation to reach out when they might otherwise decide to allow their demons to take them beyond the point of no return. This is only one of the reasons why suicide prevention lines are so important; they save lives, plain and simple.
Inspired by another interesting article on BPD Family, I have decided to share some insight into why I behaved the way I did in previous romantic relationships.
It’s funny that my non-borderline partners feel like they are under attack because I feel the same way. A lot of what I have done, I did in self-defense to protect myself from some perceived threat. I’ll be the first to step up to the confessional and admit that what I did was irrational. Here are several behaviors I have displayed in romantic relationships and the reasoning behind them:
Community integration is an important component of good mental health. In times past, mentally ill individuals were estranged from society. This made them feel even more along than they already felt. Mental Health America will be addressing this issue in an upcoming conference.
Mental Health America is holding the 2010 Annual Conference, called “Get Connected: Social Inclusion in Wellness and Recovery” in Washington D.C during June 9-12. This theme serves to emphasize the role of social roles and interactions in mental health enhancement and will include guidance from community leaders.
Advocates, consumers, educators, researchers and business leaders are also encouraged to attend. For more information on registration and travelling expenses, please click here.
Written By Shahida Arabi
“When Medicine Got It Wrong” is a “human rights saga” documentary of the rebellious family movement that rose in the 1970’s .Parents revolted against doctors, politicians and society who blamed them for their children’s schizophrenia. It challenges the notion that mental illness is somehow separate from a biological illness, and strives to negate parents’ contribution to the illness. It will be broadcasted only two times this year, a DVD is also available for sale for those who miss the episode. Check the public television broadcast dates/times here.
The medical establishment has often been criticized for its history of mistreatment towards the mentally ill. Yet perhaps the most forgotten victims of mental illness are the parents of the children who suffered extreme scrutiny and blame for the mental health issues of their progeny. As we progress towards a dialogue of mental illness, this documentary provides crucial insight into how families suffer a direct negative impact as a result of the stigma that continues to exist.
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MOVE is a great example of the progress communities and mental health facilitators are making towards shedding light on important mental health issues, while reminding us that there is still progress to be made. People, suffering from borderline personality disorder, are especially in need of a voice in the community. The stereotypes surrounding their illness often disable borderline survivors from speaking about their experiences, leaving them feeling ashamed, unworthy and invalidated when, in fact, their disorder often stems from experiencing such an invalidating environment. The conference is an opportunity for everyone to share their story and be heard.
Effective psychotherapy can be transformative and improve quality of life. Therapy can be used to enhance psychological health. Psychological health can be described as having the capacity to enjoy one’s life, have a sense of self-worth, be comfortable around others, have satisfying relationships, encounter and enjoy the responsibilities that one derives from work, school or family life, and meet life’s challenges. Psychotherapy is a process that can be empowering, foster optimism and autonomy in the individuals seeking professional assistance. Therapy can enrich the life of any individual committed to self-improvement. Psychotherapy as a compassionate and change-oriented process can promote personal growth and development.
Can you think of a situation in which you felt betrayed, hurt and/or disappointed? Most people can visualize at least a single situation in which a transgression was committed against them. Experiencing damaging transgression can adversely affect relationships in various ways. Relational conflict may escalate and as a result, relationships may be strained and/or destroyed. Therefore, to prevent relationships from becoming estranged it is important to explore what responses can foster healing and restoration. Hence, the question remains, “What can be done to promote healing and/or salvage a relationship after an interpersonal wound has been created?” This article will summarize the benefits of expressing forgiveness.
Mindfulness as a practice is thousands of years old. Recently, this enriching practice has received attention by the Western part of the world, specifically in its application to mental health and wellness. Incorporating mindfulness into our lives can improve our mental, emotional and physical health. Mindfulness teaches us to be present and to no longer operate under “automatic pilot.” Mindfulness is a practice in which way pay attention in a particular way.
There are three components to mindfulness:
1. On purpose
2. In the present
3. Non-judgmental.
Staying present is critical because it alleviates individuals from getting stuck in the past or future. Human beings can operate mentally and emotionally in three interdependent time dimensions: the past, the present and the future. Living in the present moment allows individuals to experience joy and learn to effectively deal with numerous psychological and physical challenges. Being able to move fluidly and consciously between these time dimensions is vital to our health.
I love love love my vision board! Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture of it yet to share with you but to the right is an example of how a vision board, aka a dream board, looks. I began creating mine in January of this year and ever since I really have been seeing results. I have been seeing opportunities popping up and my dreams beginning to come true. And the great thing about it is that it’s cheap, easy, and creative. And you don’t even need to be an artist!
written by: Jen Harris
No matter how much we try it seems there will always be stereotypes and myths about borderline personality disorder. But here is a quick look at some of the myths out there, they are all false! Hopefully as we continue to promote awareness people can see the reality and not the myth…
#1 People with BPD are manipulative
On the outside it may appear that borderlines are deliberately trying to manipulate the people around them. When in reality, manipulation is often the consequence of a behavior or action, it is not the actual reason for the behavior. Borderlines are always looking for a form of release from intense emotional pain and the manipulation and often destruction within relationships is a consequence, not a reason.
In a recent article from Med Page Today, my suspicions have been confirmed. Borderline Personality Disorder may be underdiagnosed and often misdiagnosed as depression, bipolar, anxiety and sometimes eating disorders.
Some of you have been alluding to the fact that my case of BPD is too mild. In actuality, I do struggle with mood swings, unstable relationships, dissociation, splitting, fragmented, suicidal ideation , unstable sense of self and all that jazz. But, despite that adversity, I am relatively high functioning and this should be a cause for hope not criticism.
Maybe you feel that some of you can’t relate to me or I shouldn’t be talking since I don’t know how it feels. Well, I do know how it feels and I am here to show how things can be but may not be yet. I have come a long way and so can you. Sure, I’m not on meds or disability but I have been advised by my doctor to go on meds and I declined since I don’t want to be dependent on a chemical to keep my moods in check for the rest of my life. People naturally want others to share their misery, well I am not here to share your misery and perpetuate the cycle but rather to listen to your problems then help you find solutions. I am finding ways to cope and grow. I am finding ways to take back my power and if I can, so can you. I believe in you but for me to help you, you must first help yourself.
There are so many self help books out there. I have read many and sometimes felt more confused after I was done reading than when I began. What simple step could I take right now to make some progress in my life?
I will admit, I have struggled with doing this, especially during episodes. When having an episode, sometimes the last thing I want to do is feel better. But feeling better starts now and a simple way to do this is by just saying (aloud or in your head) “Yes, I Can.” Even if it doesn’t feel like I mean it just the positive vibe of those words can be enough to give me a little lift and get me going back in the right direction. I sometimes say this over and over to myself during a day of discouragement and find it helps battle some of the negative self talk that accompanies depression.
Dear Dr. Aleks,
I am in a relationship with someone I love very much. I have this habit of being flirty and playing jealousy mind games, unconsciously at times. I may do this because of a love for attention and because I want “back-up” plans in case the person I’m with abandons me. I have had a pattern of having crushes on several people at once for the past several years and I don’t want it to ruin this relationship. I truly love the person I’m with even though my eyes my unfortunately wonder and I may even idealize others at times as well. I have had short relationships in the past and I want this one to be long term. What can I do to curb this tendency and keep my current relationship exciting?
-Sarah
Dear Sarah,
I am happy to hear that you are in a relationship with someone you love deeply. I believe your flirty behaviors and jealous mind games are connected to fear. I think your fear of closeness and abandonment is fueling your behaviors. You are experiencing an emotional tug-of-war that is impacting your behaviors. Your fear of closeness exhibits itself when you find yourself loving someone. Your concern is that they may not return that love, which connects to abandonment. Your fear of abandonment establishes a wall that allows your partner a certain degree of closeness. My concern along with yours is that these behaviors are likely to drive your loved one away.
Dear Dr. Aleks,
I have started a new relationship with a man that I have know for a while and it has progressed to the point of us having sexual relations. This is not something that bothered me except for the fact that for many year I had been one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and they teach that it is wrong to have sex with someone unless you are married.
I talked to my counselor about it and the response that I got from him made me feel like I was in some way being judged but I don’t think that is what he was meaning it to come across as…
He told me that when people have sex before they are married then all communication stops in the relationship. That having sex before marriage just causes undue anxiety between the partners and that it would be better if I was to wait.
I have been told that I can be a social chameleon, the personalities of those I am around tend to project onto my own. But, how can this possible? Everyone has their own unique personality, even borderlines. No one is transparent, so how can a person seem to blend with their social circle so well?
For me, it may be a matter of low self-esteem. Self esteem low enough to suppress my own personality, my authentic self. A borderline social chameleon may morph to conform to their social circle because of a deep fear of rejection and invalidation. The problem may not be that they don’t have any personality but rather that their mind uses an unconscious, intricate defense mechanism system to repress their personality and act out the personality of those around them in order to better conform and gain acceptance among their peers. I have even noticed that the voice inside my head can sometimes begin to sound like those I hangout with. My voice can change, style of speech, mannerisms, ect. The key to overcoming this is to develop a high enough self esteem that you can allow yourself to lose the mask and shine as the unique and beautiful person you really are.
I have noticed an increase in BPD activism activity on the internet through initiatives led by influencers such as peers (Love Is The Cure, BPD Jacksonville,BPD:FTL, ect), organizations (FBPDA), writers, and life coaches. I have talked with various members of BPD social network groups and have noticed a rising interest in the BPD awareness movement.
Some of you asked me how you can get started as a BPD awareness activist. It begins with a passion and a desire for change that transcends the adversity and challenge faced in the exciting field of social activism. Next, evaluate your talents, skills, and passions. What value can you contribute to the movement? Finally, explore avenues of action, including but not limited to the following suggestions:
Love Is The Cure
Florida Borderline Personality Disorder Association
Here are some helpful articles on getting started as an activist:
How To Be An Activist
Media Strategy For Activists
How To Become An Activist
Mental Health Awareness Action Guides
The other day I was browsing the internet, looking for mental health resources, and came across two intriguing sites. The staff at the Centre for Mental Health Research at the Australian National University, in collaboration with other researchers, mental health experts, web and graphic designers, and software engineers have developed an innovative, interactive web program designed to prevent depression. It consists of five modules, an interactive game, anxiety and depression assessments, downloadable relaxation audio, a workbook and feedback assessment.
Using flashed diagrams and online exercises, MoodGYM teaches the principles of cognitive behaviour therapy – a proven treatment for depression. It also demonstrates the relationship between thoughts and emotions, and works through dealing with stress and relationship break-ups, as well as teaching relaxation and meditation techniques.
The program is fun, free, and interactive. I have not used it much yet but so far it seems like it has the potential to be a great self help tool. Click here to check it out.
The creators of moodGYM also launched E-Couch, a new evidence-based informational program about emotional problems (including depression and anxiety disorders) and teaches strategies that may help you to prevent problems and understand yourself better. This program is also free and appears to be pretty user-friendly.
The discovery of these programs further shows the increasing prevalence of technological innovations in the mental health community. Besides utilizing technology for the spreading of awareness, mental health advocates are using technology to create solutions such as the two innovative programs mentioned above.
Some days I can wake up in a stellar mood, excited and ready to start my day. An hour or two later, however, I can feel a sudden mild depression sweep over me. It comes out of nowhere and floods me with a deep sense of sadness and complacency.
Before, this would bother me and rob me of my productivity for that day. For the last few days I have been fed up with this feeling and have taken a deeper look into the darkness. Depression is something we want to run from or rid ourselves of, especially if it’s persistant. What we often forget, is that depression or any illness, for that matter, indicates a lack of balance. Something is wrong, depression is a red flag not a demon. There is a reason why you are depressed, it may be more biological, psychological, or a combination of both.
Dear Dr Aleks,
I am a military spouse with BP. I was diagnosed 7 years ago during my first marriage ( not to my soldier) with BP, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Dissassociative Identity Disorder, and Depression.
I know there are many more out there then just me. I was wondering if you could offer any advice on handling deployments. I am proudly married to an Army Reservist and i am on my second 12 month deployment in only 3 years of marriage. First off, I am very much in love with my husband, he is my greatest support when it comse to my BP. He even took books with him to Iraq on my disorder so he could help me through this deployment. We have been together for 5 years now, and he knows everything I have been through when it comes to my BP. It is very hard for me at times, even feeling connected to my husband, especially when we don’t get to talk everyday. It sometimes is hard to trust and I relapse alot more. And then when i have relapses while i am talking to him, I guilt myself for long periods of time, thinking I should just divorce him to save him from me. I feel he is already going through enough, serving in this war, he shouldn’t have to deal with me as well, or at least during a relapse that is my line of thinking. It must be exhausting for him. And it can’t be easy for him to hear that on the other side of the world, where he has to do some really fast talking to get me to realize over and over that I am just scared and trying to protect myself and him out of a place of love for us both. I made so many mistakes during our first deployment I am still so ashamed of. I know he forgives me, and I have (after almost 2 years)finally accepted that. But my mind runs away with me often thinking of new things I could do to make him leave me.
Read more…
By Adrienne Carlson
We are what we eat, literally and figuratively, mentally and physically. So if you put junk into your mouth, expect a body that is junk too, one that is prone to diseases and poor health. And if you eat indiscriminately and irresponsibly in order to beat the blues, you’re only going to end up becoming fat and depressed instead of just being down in the dumps. When it comes to food, it’s not enough to eat just to satiate your hunger or the cravings of your taste buds and olfactory senses. Rather, you need to make your mind a part of the equation too if you want your body to perform optimally throughout the day.
So how would you go about doing that, you may ask? Well, the answer depends on these factors:
•The three chemicals or neurotransmitters that our brain manufactures using the food that we put in our stomachs – serotonin, dopamine and neorepinephrine. For those who are not acquainted with these chemicals, serotonin makes you feel good. It provides a mild sedative effect and calms your frayed nerves and induces sluggishness and drowsiness. It is released when you eat a meal that is rich in carbohydrates. If the carbs are mixed with fat, the latter inhibits the digestion of the former and your serotonin production is affected accordingly. So if you’re looking for a mood boost, eat carbohydrate-rich foods like bread, bagesl, potatoes (baked) and rice when your stomach is empty.
Read more…
By Dr. Salters-Pedneault
Psychotherapy can have incredible, transformative effects for people with BPD. In fact, therapy is seen as the treatment of choice for BPD; it tends to be more effective than medication, and there are now four different types of psychotherapy that have solid research support. But, unfortunately, not everyone responds to therapy. And we don’t yet have a good understanding of why some people respond with significant symptom reduction and some people don’t.
While we need more research to really understand what predicts success in therapy for people with BPD, there are some general strategies you can use to maximize your chances for success. I’ll admit, many of these strategies are much easier said than done. But, if you are in therapy, try to keep these things in mind:
1)Remember that you matter more than your therapist. What does this mean? Well, research has shown that while having an expert therapist is a nice bonus, the skill of your therapist is not nearly as important as what you put into therapy. Granted, if you have a therapist that makes you feel uncomfortable or who does not validate your feelings, that’s an issue. But once you’ve found someone you feel reasonably comfortable with, any additional “expertise” on the part of your therapist probably doesn’t as matter as much as your own commitment to working in therapy.
Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder has a difficult time feeling happy with themselves. Sadness creeps up on me at the most random parts of the day. The chain-reaction starts, and before I realize what’s happened, I feel helpless and out of my own control. If you have this disorder, you know what I’m talking about. The roller-coaster of emotion we experience can be overwhelming, but we are not helpless. We all have control, to a degree, over what we feel and how to handle those emotions.
The Huffington Post‘s Therese Borchard published an article on the topic of emotional control. She writes of three ways we can control our moods. She asserts prevention, coping, and control are the best ways we can keep ourselves off that roller coaster we become attached to and level ourselves to the very best of our ability.
Finally,we are beginning to see an increase in well deserved media attention being paid to BPD. In a recent LA Times article, Shari Roan spotlighted BPD as a growing healthcare concern. I really think it has always been a healthcare concern but there hasn’t been enough understanding and research done in order to access what BPD is, how severe of an impact it has on our society and how common it really is. It’s great to see increasing focus on not only the problems caused by the disorder but also how to fix them.
Borderline personality disorder grows as healthcare concern
By Shari Roan
September 7, 2009They have the thinnest skin, the shortest fuses and take the hardest knocks. In psychiatrists’ offices, they have long been viewed as among the most challenging patients to treat.
They are the kind of people who drive a friend away for interfering and subsequently berate that friend for abandonment.
But almost 20 years after the designation of borderline personality disorder as a recognized mental health condition, some understanding and hope have surfaced for people with the condition and their families.
Borderline personality disorder was center stage in May at the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Assn. — with multiple sessions and speakers devoted to the topic. And the message from the meeting was clear: After years during which they threw up their hands, leaders in psychiatry now want to convey a more positive message about the condition and what can be done to help those who have it.
For a modern mental health awareness campaign to be successful, I believe it needs to be:
1. Interactive
Young people today want everything now and they demand flexibility that comes with interactivity. They want to explore and express. They want to make what you have to offer uniquely theirs and the complexity that comes with in interactive interface is crucial to capturing and keeping their short attention spans. Whether this means allowing them to customize the color scheme of a viral campaign badge or even add their name, create nifty goodies which they will be proud to pass on to friends.
Read more…
These two disorders are often mixed-up and misdiagnosed. BPD tends to share some of the features of rapid cycling and Type II manic depression, but some distinguishing factors may help us tell the difference. About.com BPD expert, Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, explores the thin line separating these two intriguing mood disorders.
Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder
Are Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder Related?
By Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, About.comAre bipolar and borderline personality disorder related? Borderline personality disorder (BPD) has been a controversial diagnosis since it was first recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 1980. One controversy that still has not been resolved is whether BPD is actually just a variation of bipolar disorder.
How are Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder Similar?
The primary reason that some experts have proposed that BPD and bipolar disorder may be related is that they share the common feature of mood instability. Bipolar disorder is associated with mood shifts from depression to mania (a mood characterized by elation, decreased need for sleep, and an increase in activity) or hypomania (which is similar to mania but less severe). BPD is also associated with mood changes (sometimes called “emotion dysregulation” or affective instability). People with BPD can frequently change from feeling fine to feeling extremely distressed in a matter of minutes. Impulsive behavior is also frequently experienced both by people with bipolar disorder and by people with BPD.
I am particularly impressed by two MTV led initiatives to promote activism among their younger audience, especially college students. MTV has launched both a campaign (mtvthink) and a division (mtvu) into the college music, social, and activism scene.
MTVthink is an online activism community. A wide range of causes are represented including substance abuse, education, war and health. The site several offers opportunities to make a difference including a content upload platform, volunteer opportunities, and more. The design is simple and polished, ideal for attracting student activists. It’s a great first step, if you are a beginner activist.
MTVu is a division of MTV reaching the college market with music, social activities and activism. Student activism is central to MTVu; they have provided grants to student activists, cosponsored the ecomagination challenge with GE, and sponsored the Film Your Issue competition. Their site looks fresh and exciting and features information on various causes as well as an activism blog.
Now that I’ve got your attention, maybe even irritation, let me share my opinions on borderline personality disorder. Oh, wait, I almost forgot about the question- this question is rather rhetorical if you have BPD…a little dark humor never hurts.
My answer is “It did.” I still have BPD, who could have guessed? Sure, I still have my moments but overall my functioning has heightened and my perspective on life has changed. Sure BPD can be hell, in fact maybe worse. It’s the venus flytrap of psychiatric diagnosis. It’s totally unpredictable, everything may be going fine then all of a sudden, “Chomp!” it takes a big bite out of your functioning. Despite it’s insidious nature, I find the way the borderline mind (including mine) works to be intriguing. Playing with fire, I am captivated by the destructive power, twists and turns, and complex array of behaviors and thought patterns.
In a post on the Anything To Stop The Pain blog, the term “high functioning borderline” was explored. I will admit to use of the term and, until now, I thought it was legitimate. Upon being enlightened by this article, I have realized that not only is this term incorrect but it can actually hinder growth. The author of the post does an excellent job of explaining the fallacy of using this term. It’s not to say that borderlines cannot function well or recover, but rather that the spectrum of functioning is not as broad as it appears.
Although all borderlines are different and the severity of their disorder can vary a bit, the use of the term “high functioning” can lead a person to an unrealistic satisfaction with their current mental condition. They may feel that they are well enough to postpone treatment or any sort of change in their behavior. Denial is often a problem for people with mental illness and describing yourself as “high functioning” can perpetuate this denial.
Every borderline needs to focus on treatment and improving their quality of life. The term “high functioning” should be avoided since it can make a person believe that there are no problems to be addressed when there actually are.
The Myth of the High-Functioning Borderline
Today’s subject is the Myth of the High-Functioning Borderline. I have been scouring the research on BPD to find out if anyone in the research or therapeutic community uses this term or concept high-functioning versus low-functioning Borderline. I have yet to find any author in either the research community or therapeutic community reference this concept. It crops up in the support community (in “Stop Walking on Eggshells” and on both bpd411.org and bpdcentral.com). It also crops up in the “cross-over” community (see more later) but only in a sarcastic way. The idea of high vs. low-functioning BPD doesn’t seem to hold much weight in any other community than the support community.
Kayla L. Cubbage and her daughter Cricket
As a Borderline and a mother, I was appalled at a recent article I read discussing the Borderline woman as a mother. This article defines the Borderline mother as an “emotional terrorist”, even going so far to say that our love is seen to our children and those around us as vicious and as cold hearted as the 9/11 terrorist attacks! The article goes on to describe our children living in self contained prison camps. The article which can be read fully here states that:
Many children of borderlines dread Mother’s Day. The thought of having their mother feel special, important and loved makes them sick. They sift through Mother’s Day cards in a store. They look for a card with nothing mushy written on it. Sometimes, a plain “Happy Mother’s Day” print is what they would pick. They knew that their mother’s response will always be “What do I have to be happy about?” Greeting card companies should start making plain cards for a specific market niche for children with emotional terrorist moms.
Seriously? Talk about stigma. Apparently the Mother of the Year award does not go to me because I am an emotionally blank terrorist who can never fully understand love towards a human being, especially my own child. My daughter is one of the most important people I have in my life and I could not, for the love of me, picture her coming into my bedroom at 5 years old wishing me a happy Mother’s Day, a little card in hand and a present for her mother, only for me to turn and tell her it isn’t good enough or she’s getting crumbs on my bed.
Stephanie: “As far as our reason for calling people “borderlines” and not people with bpd is (1) it actually fits in twitter updates and blog titles (2)it fits in and sounds smoother in marketing materials (3)it looks better…yes, we are aware it can perpetuate the stigma but we aim to change the connotation of the word “borderline” rather than not using it.”
Randi: “Thank you, Stephanie! I agree with you. Marginalized people have a history of taking the stigma out of words by not being afraid to use them. I think there is much fear in even using the word out loud, which worsens the situation.”
Stephanie: “Yes Randi, good point! In this case, it’s not so much about the literal word but in the way that we use it and this creates the connotation. We are not here to be afraid and tip toe but to create real change and not be afraid to step on a few toes tactfully, that is.”
Randi: “In the Harry Potter series, people were so afraid of Lord Voldemort they called him You-Know-Who or He Who Must Not Be Named. One of the exceptions is wise Dumbledore, who tells Harry that not to name something just increases the fear of it. If all people with BPD were in the health care system, than “consumer” might work–as imprecise as it is. It ignores the many thousands of people with BPD who refuse help. Do we really want to omit them from the picture? And while the term is well known in clinical circles, the family members I work with have never even heard of it. “
Developing better coping skills is key in taming your BPD. The disorder is infamous for it’s self destructive episodes, as emotions are often intense and overwhelming. As we all know, having a borderline episode is no fun and About.com BPD expert, Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, arrived just in time to help us brave the storm.
I’m sure you’ve been told you need to handle stress differently; but how exactly should you cope? The following article sheds some light on several new coping skills you can develop. My favorites include riding it out, taking a nice hot shower and playing some upbeat tunes. Don’t just limit yourself to the following list, ask your therapist about other proactive coping skills you can adopt.
10 Healthy Coping Skills for Borderline Personality Disorder
By Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, About.com
Updated March 24, 2009When you are having an intense emotion, it can be hard to know what to do. Unfortunately, many people with BPD turn to unhealthy behaviors in an attempt to cope with emotional pain (e.g., self-harm, substance use, or aggression). Want to replace unhealthy habits with new, healthier skills? Try some of the coping skills listed below.
1. Play Music
Play music that creates an emotion that is the opposite of the one you are struggling with. For example, if you are feeling very sad, play happy, upbeat music. If you are feeling anxious, play slow, relaxing music.2. Do Something
Engage in a highly engaging activity. Television or computer activities do not count here — these are too passive. Instead, take a walk, dance, clean your house, or do some other activity that gets you engaged and distracts you from your current emotions. .
As I am working on my quest of discovering who I am, I realize that some of the employment opportunities I seek will never be available to me. Why? Because, like you, I am borderline.
If you have considered going to school to enter the fields of social work, criminal justice, corrections, teaching, counseling, medicine, geriatrics, ect., you may find that these opportunities are not available to you.
Many jobs require an intense psychological evaluation. Jobs that entail working with children, dealing with corrections or counseling services require such an evaluation. You can also guarantee that most jobs falling within the human resources category will also require an evaluation.
Differences between borderline personality disorder (BPD) and bipolar disorder is an issue of great controversy, confusion and frustration in the mental health field. As a follow-up post to a previous post, comparing the two disorders, I will proceed to further discuss two features that separate these disorders. In her book, The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Randi Kreger, clears some of the smoke by sharing some rather interesting insights:
According to Dr. Friedel, director of the BPD program at the Virginia Commonwealth University, there are two main differences between BPD and bipoar disorder:
- People with BPD cycle much more quickly, often several types a day.
- The moods in people with BPD are more dependent, positively or negatively, on what’s going on in their life at the moment.
We all know how it feels to rebuild our life each time a crisis or high stress load hits us and we regress. I have made leaps of progress before, just to be thrown away by something trivial but triggering.
In addition to talking with your therapist and/or doctor, understanding relapse and making a prevention plan can help. Click here for a free PDF mental health relapse prevention workbook.
Some insights as to my own relapse are as follows:
Got any tips for relapse prevention? Please share.
A huge part of creating awareness of mental illness is talking about it. As simple as that sounds, it is often very hard to do, especially for the person who is diagnosed. To keep the movement going, we need to stimulate some buzz marketing. This means street teaming (see Love Is The Cure website for tools), taking part in activism activities (see our VOLTE_face page on Tumblr), and talking about it. It can begin with modest attempts such as bringing it up during conversations with loved ones and those close to you and expanding to grander efforts such as public speaking as facilitated through NAMI‘s newest awareness program, In Our Own Voice.
Glenn Close, an Emmy, Golden Globe and Tony award-winning actress elaborates on the stigmatizing effect of silence in a recent article she wrote for the Huffington Post. She even founded BringChange2Mind.org, an organization that inspires people to begin talking openly about mental illness, breaking through the silence and fear. Her organization has gained the support of every major, American mental health organization and numerous others.
Check it out! Photos of Stephanie Price taken by Anne Hargrove.
Photo By Anne Hargrove
Photo By Anne Hargrove
Photo By Anne Hargrove
Photo By Anne Hargrove
Photo By Anne Hargrove
Photo By Anne Hargrove
We all love a little celebrity gossip, right? Several months ago, I released a list of celebrities who may have borderline personality disorder, this list included legendary pop culture icons such as Marilyn Monroe. Monroe has reached almost a poster child status with her widely accepted connection to the disorder.
How about some modern celebrities? Bon Dobbs, with the Anything To Stop The Pain blog, has been writing a lot of posts regarding contemporary celebrities who possibly have the disorder. Included on the list are some of my favorite actresses and singers such as…
Angelina Jolie: She is known for her eccentric lifestyle and has topped the list for borderline celebrity searches on google. Bon has dug up info detailing her extensive borderline symptoms including self-injury, poor self-image, suicidal tendencies, and volatile relationships from respected sources such as Rolling Stone Magazine.
Britney Spears: Continuously appearing in the news for her scandalous behaviors, I have long had her on the radar for a possible case of BPD. Now she is in the spotlight for her mood swings, inappropriate anger and reckless behavior.
Lindsay Lohan: From excessive drug abuse to stalking, this girl is out of control. She has a history of addiction, possible self-injury, reckless behavior, and disordered eating.
Now, if only these celebs would come out about their disorder? That would really help reduce the stigma and create awareness. But, some of them are so far gone (Lindsay especially) that it may actually make us borderlines look bad.
In a provocative article I recently read on BPD family DOT com, I discovered some disturbing views on borderline relationships as well as a few nuggets of suprising insight. The article takes us on a tour of the three stated phases of a borderline relationship. Not only are the names of these phases disparaging to individuals with borderline personality disorder but makes the reader feel as though all people with the disorder are evil. Aren’t we are here to promote hope and the value of the individual?
Every person with BPD is unique, Millon has stated that there are four variations of the borderline personality type. Yes, some can fit the description of this article. However, many people with the disorder are just as good and loving as everyone else, they just have great difficulty making these qualities visible. My romantic relationships have followed some of the patterns presented in the article, but not all. I also did not try to consciously hurt the person I was with. The article makes us seem like monsters.
Here is my least favorite paragraph in the article:
But, if like King Priam, you do fall prey to this Trojan Horse and let her inside your city gates, the first Berserker to leave the horse will be the devious Clinger. A master at strengthening her control through empathy, she is brilliant at eliciting sympathy and identifying those most likely to provide it-like the steady-tempered and tenderhearted.
If you have BPD or are/have been in a relationship with someone with the disorder, what do you think?
If a picture can paint a thousand words, a song can paint a million. Music is a dynamic and fascinating form of expression which can also be a great mental health awareness tool. Love Is The Cure is focusing on leveraging media as activism channels- video, images, ect. Kayla Kavanagh, a versatile solo music artist, is also taking a stand in the mental health awareness movement.
She successfully recovered from borderline personality disorder and has progressed to earn a Masters Degree and become a successful music artist and designer. She is an Irish multi-instrumentalist who works across a variety of genres, as an electronica performer, guitar-based Singer/Songwriter, pianist, Pop/Rock artist and classical/contemporary composer. She has performed at a national tour as well as at the Edinburgh Fringe Festivals and other festivals across the country. She will be one of the featured poster-children in the mental health awareness campaign which Love Is The Cure will be launching next year.
On 19th November, Kayla Kavanagh launched her special release single “On the Borderline” at the inaugural PD Congress in Birmingham. The 1st National Personality Disorder Congress was a two day event celebrating success – innovation, knowledge & understanding.
As an invited Keynote Speaker, Kayla was privileged to be a part of such an important event raising awareness of Personality Disorder. Her single sold out at the event, and is now available for download on her website.
I can particularly identify with the following line from her song. It describes the identity disturbance so many of us face everyday- the constant confusion and dissociation that plagues many of those with borderline personality disorder.
“as I look into the mirror now, I see strangers staring back at me..”
Bravo Kayla!
New York City always crosses my mind when I think of a fast-paced, grandiose metropolis where go-getters can really shine. For the most part, I think this is true. My social enterprise, Love Is The Cure, has a chapter (aka regional affiliate) in NYC and they are even planning to coordinate a rally for BPD awareness in Spring of 2010. There are several NYC support groups for people with borderline personality disorder, in addition to a new movement I discovered several months ago.
Rethink BPD is is an independent documentary, website and social movement bringing the most in-depth portrait of the Borderline Personality Disorder experience to a national audience. The objective of the movement is to change how we see and treat mental illness.
I have corresponded with Amanda Wang, the Producer and Founder. She is pretty cool and is passionate about what she does. She also leads a support group in NY and has spoken at the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder & Yale University School of Medicine Conference, Borderline Personality Disorder, Trauma, and Resiliency in 2008 and has recently spoken at the BPD Resource Center / New York Presbyterian: The University Hospital of Columbia & Cornell Conference, Adolescent Pathology: Personality Disorders and Comorbidity.
You can actually participate in the making of this film by sharing your story and possibly being a character in the documentary. Boy, I wish I lived there. Check out details here.
These ratings are based perceived effectiveness of message and production quality of the advertisements.
1#: A refreshing call to action.
This video is professional and clever. It has an artistic touch and the whole commercial is wrapped up with a message of hope and a strong call to action. Too many mental health PSAs either fail to leave a positive feeling with the viewer or don’t tell them what to do next. This video does a great job on all fronts and definitely deserves the blue medal.
This Emotional Life is a new series coming January 2010 to PBS. The three part series is hosted by Harvard psychologist and best-selling author of Stumbling on Happiness, Professor Daniel Gilbert. It examines how we can improve our social relationships, become positive, resilient people and it even covers mental health issues such as borderline personality disorder. It premiers January 4th 2010. Other interesting topics to be explored include addiction, intimate relationships, bipolar disorder, depression, eating disorders, stress and anxiety, anger, and PTSD. If you watch it, be sure to come back and leave a comment about what you thought and any interesting information you learned.
Dear Dr. Aleks,
Hi…I’ve recently been diagnosed with BPD. It explains so much of my previous behaviour, and doesn’t frighten me like I thought such a diagnosis might.
I am in a very committed relationship, and whilst it is reasonably new (3 months) he is aware of my diagnosis. It doesn’t bother him, beyond him not knowing how to help.
Truth be told I’m not sure how he can help.
I also have Bulimia, which he has been wonderfully helpful and supportive with (haven’t purged for 6 weeks now!). But he seems lost on BPD.
I have tried to explain what it is, asked him to read some things (which he has) but I don’t think he understands. (which I suppose is usual for someone who is/always has been mentally healthy…how can he relate?)
Basically, I was hoping for some advice on how to explain how it affects me…a more pragmatic explanation than just rattling off the symptoms.
Any advice?
Cheers for this great project!
Zach
I know it’s a bit late for this but it’s still the first week of January. I want to begin this year with an inspirational post for all my wonderful readers.
Did you make a New Year’s resolution? Or maybe even goals? Share them in the comments space below so I can encourage you!
There are several things I learned last year which I would like to share with all of you.
First, focus on quality over quantity. In today’s fast-paced, multitasking world we can easily get caught up in staying busy and forget to scale down our daily activities in order to give more time to each task. Minimalism is chic so par down your to-do list, clean your house and toss out what you don’t need. Less is more.
Second, take risks. Take a leap out of your comfort zone to start experiencing new things. We are often more regretful of what we didn’t do than what we did do. This doesn’t mean being reckless, it means giving yourself opportunities to leverage your talent and potential even if the odds seem uncertain.
Third, speak up for yourself and do what’s right for you. Learn to say no when you need to. Honor your values and priorities in everything you do.
Fourth, keep the big picture in mind. Think big, don’t let trivial things distract you from your dreams and ideals.
Fifth, celebrate your successes, no matter what size they are. This will help keep you motivated and positive.
What did you learn in 2009? Share it in your comment so you can contribute to the growth of fellow readers.
Kayla Kavanagh is very active in the area of mental health and was recently featured on the BBC radio show, Women’s Hour. She also works for Rethink, the UK’s leading national mental health membership charity. Presenter Jane Garvey spoke to Dr Kevin Healy, Clinical Director of Cassel Hospital and Kayla, who spoke about her experience living with Borderline Personality Disorder. Click here to listen.
Kayla does a great job of describing BPD from a patient’s point of view. There are so many programs showcasing mental illness from a dry, textbook perspective and it’s about time that mental health consumers are given a voice in the media.
On may 20th, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) , together with the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder , sponsored a congressional briefing on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Several prestigious mental health experts, including Thomas Insel, M.D., director of the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) and John Oldan, M.D., president-elect of the American Psychiatric Association (APA) , articulated the tremendous challenge of living with the disorder and seeking treatment.
NAMI Executive Director, Michael Fitzpatrick, explained that “borderline personality disorder is a serious mental illness that can cause a lot of suffering, carries a significant risk of suicide and requires an accurate diagnosis along with targeted treatment.”
“We know that treatment works, but too often stigma discourages people with mental illness from getting the help that they need. Untreated mental illness has significant personal, social and economic implications. We urge Congress to increase funding of research, treatment and services for those living with BPD and their families.”
I think this is a step in the right direction since I know, first-hand, how difficult it is to live with the disorder and the host of co-occuring disorders that often come along with it. Many individuals with the disorder also have trouble finding accessable, affordable resources.
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I love the work of this wonderful organization. They do a great job of reaching of to young people using pop culture and celebrity influence.
Congratulations TWLOHA!
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